


Hot Shirtless Runner (Or How Patrick Used Incorrect Information To Successfully Woo A Stranger)

by littlesnowpea



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Ficlet, M/M, Meet-Cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 17:18:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9559349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlesnowpea/pseuds/littlesnowpea
Summary: “You’ll catch your death,” is what Patrick honest to God can’t help shouting at Hot Shirtless Runner as he passes. Penny must agree with him because she barks her most ferocious yet somehow squeaky bark and Hot Shirtless Sweaty Runner stops. He’s got that weird half-smile that people must develop when a non-threatening guy dressed like it’s Antarctica yells vague threats.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [r4d](https://archiveofourown.org/users/r4d/gifts).



> ficlet for r4d! 
> 
> she kindly downloaded my novel, which i am trying to get to 10,000 downloads so a publisher can look at it. if you download my novel (which is cheap) i will write you a ficlet of your choice, any pairing, any fandom! link is here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/573386
> 
> just hit me up on tumblr or in the comments! tumblr is smalltalktorture.tumblr.com
> 
> thanks babes!

It’s a cold day in Chicago when Patrick first speaks to the Hot Runner he sees every day as he walks Penny down by the water. 

The fact that it is cold (and snowing) is very important because Hot Runner is running shirtless, in nothing but a pair of shorts so tight Patrick is thinking about repenting before he’s even fantasized. 

“You’ll catch your death,” is what he honest to God can’t help shouting at Hot Shirtless Runner as he passes. Penny must agree with him because she barks her most ferocious yet somehow squeaky bark and Hot Shirtless Sweaty Runner stops. He’s got that weird half-smile that people must develop when a non-threatening guy dressed like it’s Antarctica yells vague threats. 

“What?” Hot Shirtless Sweaty Runner asks, and Patrick realizes immediately that he is not from Chicago based on the accent. Or really, lack of one. Hot Shirtless Sweaty Runner is clearly from the Midwest, but lacks the distinct Chicago twang Patrick is so used to. 

Patrick likes to say he’s good with accents, and Joe, his roommate, likes to laugh at him. 

“It’s cold,” Patrick points out, a little stupidly. Now that Hot Shirtless Sweaty Runner is standing still, Patrick notices a lot of things. 

A lot.

His pecs, for instance. 

“Yeah…..” Hot Shirtless Sweaty Runner says slowly, and Patrick wants to facepalm. 

“You’re going to get sick,” Patrick says, and Hot Shirtless Sweaty Runner grins a smile so bright Patrick swears his heart stops. 

Patrick is also a walking cliche. 

“Cold air doesn’t cause colds,” Hot Shirtless Sweaty Runner points out. “Viruses do. Cold air is an old wives tale.”

Bullshit. 

“Bullshit,” Patrick says. “Explain why people get sick in winter more than summer.”

Hot Shirtless Sweaty Runner raises an eyebrow, probably at Patrick’s haughty tone. Joe says he can be quite forceful. 

“People are inside during the winter,” Hot Shirtless Sweaty Runner says as if Patrick is a very small, misguided child. “Being close together means viruses spread easier.”

Patrick flushes hotly. 

“Still,” he obviously has to defend himself, it’s a matter of honor. “Cold air can’t be good for you.”

“Sure,” Hot Shirtless Sweaty Runner says, clearly pacifying Patrick. “If you’re so concerned, why don’t we head someplace warm?”

“Don’t you need a shirt?” Patrick asks, instead of you’re so hot I would love to get you inside if you know what I mean. 

Hot Shirtless Sweaty Runner laughs. 

“I have one in my car, if you want to walk me there….” he says, trailing off in a clear invitation for Patrick’s name. 

“Patrick,” Patrick says, feeling stupider by the minute. What was he thinking?

“Patrick,” Hot Shirtless Sweaty Runner says. “Nice to meet you. I’m Andy.”

“Andy,” Patrick repeats. It sounded better than Hot Shirtless Sweaty Runner. Patrick was on the brink of just abbreviating it to Hot Damn. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Patrick,” Andy says. “Do you like coffee?”

“I love coffee,” Patrick says. “Do you like shirts?”

“Depends,” Andy smirks. 

“On what?” Patrick asks. 

“On whether wearing a shirt would have prevented you from talking to me,” Andy answers, and Patrick furrows his brow. 

“What do you mean?” he’s confused. 

“I see you walking that fluffball every day,” Andy elaborates, indicating Penny as if Patrick has some other random animal on a leash. “And every day you’re dressed like a little wind could kill you.”

“It might,” Patrick mutters darkly, which only causes Andy to laugh again. 

“Well, every day I think about talking to you,” Andy says. “But I don’t. And today, when I’m distracted and not meeting my mile times, you decide to accost me with non-factual information.”

“I did not accost you,” Patrick corrects. “And it was factual to me.” 

“Uh huh,” Andy says. “Well, I’m glad at any rate. I’ve been admiring your ass for weeks now.”

“My what?” Patrick demands, and Andy takes Patrick’s hand. 

“It’s a very nice ass,” Andy soothes. Patrick frowns. 

“ _You’re_ a very nice…oh.”

“Nice try,” Andy says, and Patrick sighs. 

“Shirt?” he reminds him. 

“Coffee?” Andy counters. 

Maybe the cold wasn’t so bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> you really don't get sick because it's cold, patrick is wrong
> 
> find me on tumblr at smalltalktorture.tumblr.com


End file.
